Does your partner have ADD/ADHD?

If so you might have noticed certain qualities that they bring to your relationship which may be frustrating to you.

I have treated ADHD and it’s impact on life and love for many years now; I can help you understand it and develop strategies for dealing with it.

Have you ever wondered if your partner has undiagnosed ADD?

It’s important to note that people with ADD/ADHD are often very intelligent and well intended. The issues they struggle with are usually not based on bad character but rather on having a brain that is chemically and physically different. These differences can create relationship  challenges in the areas of communication, intimacy and having a smooth domestic life together.

Here are a few of the typical complaints that I hear from partners of ADD individuals

“My partner can really focus on things he likes but he's a major procrastinator about everything else. He can't get started on things and never finishes if he does. Plus he has a hair trigger for anger, gets loud & mean and while he gets over it fast, He can't understand why I cant just let it go.

“My partner makes promises then he gets distracted and goes in a whole different direction. I hate myself for nagging and micro-managing him but his ADD drives me crazy! I have lost trust in whether he will get things done. It's just easier for me to do it myself.”

“I want my partner to be more stable which she always says she'll try but she just can't seem to do it.”

“The harder my partner tries to focus on details the more frustrated she gets.”

“My partner is very outgoing but doesn't understand certain subtleties in social interactions and often offends people and embarrasses me. My friends pull away & think he's rude.”

“My partner is super smart but has a fast trigger for anger, repeatedly makes bad decisions & acts impulsively I've become afraid of her outbursts. She just jumps to conclusions then goes off on me. The drama is exhausting.”

“My partner can’t get organized and doesn't do normal things in a normal way.  I don't understand it because she is so smart otherwise.”

“My partner is very enthusiastic at first but then loses steam and never finishes what she starts. Our home is filled with half finished projects.”

“My partner procrastinates on everything. I hate that I have to nag to keep him going."

“My partner is a Night Owl and a restless sleeper, night time is an ongoing battle for us.”

“My partner is quick to anger, talks too much and goes off on unconnected tangents.”

If several of these patterns are present in your relationship your partner may have ADD and it might be useful to have a session or two of Couples Therapy to understand it better. I can help you with strategies to get more in sync together.

Email is the best way to reach me

I look forward to hearing from you.

Warm regards,

Laressa Desmond PhD

CPC CA LMFT

Laressa Desmond, PhD, LMFT